Hold onto your butts…

Here’s that all so inspiring speech from Deep Blue Sea that Seija mentioned in the third podcast. (Don’t feel too bad about the end, according to his speech…he did maybe EAT SOME PEOPLE) I think we should all start our sentences this week with “When the avalanche came…” I digress, he’s got a great screaming voice and his body just breaks up into those chewable pieces! Great job all around, Samuel L. Jackson!

Episode 3: Why We Hate Nachos*

For our third podcast, we thought it would be a good idea to strap on our headlights and go spelunking… deep into the caves of our collectively forgotten dreams.  So we made up some questions that mostly have to do with movies and asked them to each other.  Our cleverest listeners may have already sussed out some facts about us, such as my abiding love of horror films and Natalie’s uncanny ability to impersonate Nic Cage vomiting.  But do you know what movies we would take with us to a deserted island?  Or how about what movies we don’t think we could watch a second time?  We’ll regale you with stories of sitting through sex scenes with our parents, and I’ll give my one-word review of the movie Fish Tank.  If all that doesn’t whet your appetite, we also manage to drop more F-bombs than ever before in response to several thousand fan letters we received demanding a more “gritty” feel.  As always, thanks for listening!

*We actually love nachos.

Fact Checking

As you may have noticed, we play pretty fast and loose with facts here at EmersonvsCook. So after listening to the Nic Cage podcast, I decided to do a bit of sleuthing to verify these absolutely useless celebrity factoids that vie for space in my brain with this kitten:

Photobucket.
So I just spent some time skaggin’ around Val Kilmer’s MySpace page, where you can see pictures of his treehouse, read his blog (last update: July 2011) and see how much he cares about animals and environmentalism (what a guy!)

Also confirmed is the name of Nic Cage’s son.

It’s pretty hard to stay on point with that narcoleptic kitten up there, but maybe you guys will help me test out one of the features of this website I’m most excited about… POLLS!  Whenever I see a poll, I HAVE to vote, even if I don’t care about the subject.  But we can have fun with this one.  It’s simple: what’s your favorite Nic Cage movie?  If it’s not listed in the choices, it’s not an acceptable answer.  Sorry.  Get your own blog. 

Out of the following, what's your favorite Nic Cage movie?

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Episode 2: Nicolas Cage

Our second podcast wherein we discuss the many peculiar and perplexing roles (and accents and hairstyles) of film star, Nicolas Cage.

With special guest: Donnie B

 

Can you see two minutes into the future? We CAN.

Seija and I must have unleashed some latent premonition power, which possibly has something to do with that ancient trinket wrapped around a monkey’s paw that my weird shaman uncle, Clyde, sent to me from Azerbaijan. I knew I shouldn’t have let fresh blood get on that thing. But Seija just had to have more cheetos. I digress.

Consider this:  our next podcast on Nicolas Cage (recorded on 01.28.12)  coincided perfectly with TIFF Bell Lightbox’s retrospective on Nicolas Cage (starting 01.28.12 going through April) and and and Nicolas Cage wanting to come back as a ghost in the Japanese sequel (???) to the feminist bear-suit fire movie. I think there’s some spooky Cage-y vibes permeating the atmosphere, dudes. Watch where you step.  Anyway, stay tuned for when we unfold our Nicolas Cage-centric podcast next week!

Until then, here’s a little Nic Cage essence to tide you over…

Klaus Kinski and Nicolas Cage: The Greatest Insane Actors of All Time

There’s something a little different about two of my favorite actors. In their worst performances (of which there are MANY) they are easily dismissed as hacks. But they have both starred in some of the best movies ever, not to mention some of the most re-watchable and outrageous cult classics ever filmed.

Before his death in 1991, Klaus Kinski acted in over 135 films. His complete filmography is famously approximate, because he simply didn’t care about most of the movies he was in. To me, there’s something refreshingly utilitarian about the idea of being a celebrity that treats a role like any old job. But I don’t think there was anything particularly humble about him in reality (all you have to do to get your mind thoroughly blown is read his “autobiography,” Kinski Uncut, a masterpiece of lunatic hubris).
Kinski is most famous for his starring roles in Aguerre: The Wrath of God, Nosferatu, Fitzcarraldo, and some lesser known movies made in the 70’s and 80’s with director Werner Herzog.  Herzog made a fantastic documentary about Kinski in 1999 called My Best Fiend, chronicling their work together over the years. Anyone who’s ever tried to collaborate with eccentrics (*ahem*) can sympathize with how hard it must have been to get even one film made with Kinski. Here they are on the set of Fitzcarraldo, in the Amazon, surrounded by indigenous nonactors, watching the shit hit the fan:

If you’ve never seen a Herzog/Kinski film, I would suggest starting with Aguerre.  It’s the gold standard for Kinski’s other performances as a deranged megalomaniac, and Herzog captures some of the most gorgeous, ominous man-vs-nature footage you’ll ever see.  Also, while on set, Kinski tried to stab another actor in the head with a sword, but the dude was wearing a metal helmet, so he survived.

All this brings me to my next subject, the widely reviled and misunderstood Nicolas Cage.  At age 48, Cage has already appeared in 64 films.  Do the math (I tried…) and you’ll see that at this rate, Cage could almost match Kinski’s average films per year if he lives to be 65.  I won’t make you wait any longer for this gem, “Nicolas Cage Losing His Shit.”

 

Like Kinski, Cage can be both handsome and decrepit, smooth and out of control.  But it doesn’t seem like he quite has a handle on when those things will happen.  Some of my favorite movies of his are Wild at Heart, Moonstruck and Con Air, a random handful of genres if there ever was one.  Lately, he’s fallen prey to some weird hair and face disasters, but I have faith that those will only serve his career in unexpected ways, as long as he keeps lucking out on really good scripts like Bad Lieutenant (directed by Werner Herzog!  We have come full circle) sandwiched between unrepentant crap like Season of the Witch (Ron Perelman’s actual dialogue while they’re locked up in a medieval dungeon: “let’s get out of here, man.”) to pay the bills on his sweet pyramid tomb in New Orleans. Yep.

 

 

 

Deep thoughts: Arnold Schwarzenegger’s commentary for Total Recall

I know you thought it couldn’t get better than watching his face acclimate to that dusty, oxygen void Mars climate over and over and over again. You always did think those baby bjorn harnesses made new parents look like hosts for lil’ Quatos. I ask you to come with me now and indulge…

Episode 1: Bad Seeds

Our first podcast wherein we discuss horrible, awful, hilariously evil children from cinema (and our own lives) through the lens of  “The Bad Seed.”

 

Welcome to HELL

You may be asking yourself, why should I listen to this podcast? I know all there is to know about movies, humor, fun, excitement and joy. WRONG! Be prepared to be transported to a realm of fresh awesomeness, hosted by two wacky ladies in their late 70s who love all things movies! Get ready for 17 minutes of straight cackling and 3 minutes of inaccurate content! Our first podcast focuses on evil children in film, loosely anchored by a dynamic scene reading from a true classic, The Bad Seed. Here’s the trailer:


We hope you enjoy our first podcast. Stick around for our next episode!