Author Archives: Natalie

Episode 8: Prime Numbers! OMG!

ice cube

 

Hey hey we’re back! Again! We know that it’s been awhile and you’ve been frothing at the mouth for some new material – so we thought we’d oblige with yet another lost cult classic from the ’90s. That’s right kids, we’re talking about…CUBE.* Think you know about Cartesian coordinates?? You might! But enough to survive a crazy mathematical death puzzle with six strangers? (Where people stop being polite and start getting CUBED.) Listen and remember your grandmom’s killer fruitcake recipe, and that time you ate pierogies and wound up in another dimension. Prepare thyself for some truly audacious lapses in math knowledge and some fine Canadian acting!

*Ice Cube does not appear in this film. Unfortunately.

A teaser for all you rascals!

Something for you guys to enjoy while we work on our next podcast….

Eu Não Quero Voltar Sozinho

The sun is finally happening here in Seattle and I find myself falling easily into dopey, feel-good daydreaming. Especially since most days are spent getting “sun-drunk” with friends and/or crushing on lil’ hotties. Therefore, I thought I’d share this short film on first love.  Simple and sweet, the story may just cause a slight swelling sensation in the chest.

Unexpected Inspirado: Terry Doolittle

You guys might remember me mentioning this character from Jumpin’ Jack Flash in our third podcast. I think it’s safe to say that the last time anyone saw this movie was  1994 on TNT on a Wednesday afternoon.

I would say that Whoopi made this role, because I cannot see any other actress of that time in this part…except for maybe…MAYBE… Annie Potts. AND SHE’S ALSO IN THIS MOVIE. Has enough emphasis been placed? May I release the caps lock?

Also in the movie we got John Lovitz, Carol Kane (!!!), Phil Hartman, John Wood and Jonathan Pryce.

I know! You’re saying to yourself: “Whoa…who?”

I will  now deliver the  break-down of the awesomitude of Terry Doolittle.

First: her apartment and clothing choices. Truly incredible. Her place is a jumble of precious junk. Old movie posters, Groucho-Marx dolls and tiny pianos all clamber together in this tiny den where a “professional” adult woman lives. (If any one has been to my apartment…the similarities. Striking.)

Sartorially speaking, in today’s world, Terry would rule the streets with her over-sized jackets, floppy sweaters and mens pants held up with suspenders all coupled with her signature yellow sneakers. Oh, and let’s not forget those crazy big 80s frames…

***Babe Alert: DANG! GET IT, CAROL KANE!***

***Huh Alert: Sorry about your face, red shirt.***

Second awesome thing: she is a computer wizard. Whenever her screen plays a Russian aerobic show (FORESHADOWING) she fixes her shoebox computer with one of the many plastic dinosaurs that litter her desk. She also engages in a little beta IMing- exchanging pot roast recipes and giving dating advice to other foreign bankers around world. Endearing. But her boss (played wonderfully by Peter Michael Goetz) finds her truly annoying. Another plus!

Third incredibleness: When her computer somehow becomes a portal to a spy in trouble (Russian aerobics left the gate WIDE open) she dives right into to international spy politics because she’s (well..she’s bored) truly a kind, caring, intelligent person. And incredibly lonely…

HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE????? LOOK AT THAT SHIT!

Carefree pajama dancing and lip syncing??? Yes, please!

Fourth: I will now run-down everything Terry does for Jack (the spy in need): she gets thrown in the Hudson River,  she’s repeatedly attacked by Jim Belushi, she almost falls off a building, she dresses up like Diana Ross and sings Supremes’ songs in front of foreign dignitaries (this is the only time she uses her sex appeal), her crotch is almost eaten by a shredder, she’s drug through the streets of New York while in a phone booth and she’s subjected to truth serum and torture tactics from bad spies. And she goes through this supremely clownshoes gauntlet so readily, with her fast talking wit often getting her out of trouble.

Yes, this woman holding a GIANT RIDICULOUS TOOTHBRUSH did all that.

Well, have you found yourselves inspired? I certainly hope so! So, if you need a laugh and got some time (the movie is only 100 minutes) definitely check it out.

To bookend: when searching for youtube clips I stopped when I came across this glorious gem:

Oh, WHAT? Aretha Franklin with purple tinted bangs AND  a  Zulu fly swatter hair extension???

FASCINATING.

 

 

Hold onto your butts…

Here’s that all so inspiring speech from Deep Blue Sea that Seija mentioned in the third podcast. (Don’t feel too bad about the end, according to his speech…he did maybe EAT SOME PEOPLE) I think we should all start our sentences this week with “When the avalanche came…” I digress, he’s got a great screaming voice and his body just breaks up into those chewable pieces! Great job all around, Samuel L. Jackson!

Episode 2: Nicolas Cage

Our second podcast wherein we discuss the many peculiar and perplexing roles (and accents and hairstyles) of film star, Nicolas Cage.

With special guest: Donnie B

 

Can you see two minutes into the future? We CAN.

Seija and I must have unleashed some latent premonition power, which possibly has something to do with that ancient trinket wrapped around a monkey’s paw that my weird shaman uncle, Clyde, sent to me from Azerbaijan. I knew I shouldn’t have let fresh blood get on that thing. But Seija just had to have more cheetos. I digress.

Consider this:  our next podcast on Nicolas Cage (recorded on 01.28.12)  coincided perfectly with TIFF Bell Lightbox’s retrospective on Nicolas Cage (starting 01.28.12 going through April) and and and Nicolas Cage wanting to come back as a ghost in the Japanese sequel (???) to the feminist bear-suit fire movie. I think there’s some spooky Cage-y vibes permeating the atmosphere, dudes. Watch where you step.  Anyway, stay tuned for when we unfold our Nicolas Cage-centric podcast next week!

Until then, here’s a little Nic Cage essence to tide you over…

Deep thoughts: Arnold Schwarzenegger’s commentary for Total Recall

I know you thought it couldn’t get better than watching his face acclimate to that dusty, oxygen void Mars climate over and over and over again. You always did think those baby bjorn harnesses made new parents look like hosts for lil’ Quatos. I ask you to come with me now and indulge…

Episode 1: Bad Seeds

Our first podcast wherein we discuss horrible, awful, hilariously evil children from cinema (and our own lives) through the lens of  “The Bad Seed.”